If you’ve stumbled across this blog looking for answers, all I have to share with you are experiences that have influenced me. My story really gets going about five years ago, when I decided not to listen to what I knew God wanted in my life. I left the church, cut off some of my closest friends, and went on with my life as if I was just perfect. Eventually it caught up to me of course. I was in an unhealthy relationship that should have been ended closely after it started, but it lasted for three years. I was always just “waiting for the right moment” to end it, which, if you know anything about avoiding conflict, never comes even though she had already given me cause to leave her.
So a month after I turn 18 my daughter, Scarlette, is born and the relationship I should have ended already now has some pretty potent super glue. Time goes on and after a year or so I’ve reached my limit. One morning I woke up and I couldn’t take going downstairs knowing who I would see raising my child. I prayed for some sort of second chance, anything to build on. Later that day while I was out job hunting she informed me that she had cheated on me for the second time. It wasn’t the second chance I was expecting, but it rarely is. I had been given this same opportunity before, but I was afraid of conflict and let the issue slide. This time I stood my ground and moved forward with my head high, knowing God had answered my prayer.
One recovery (rebound) relationship later and I’ve decided I should probably let God play a part in who my future wife should be, as I credited Him with saving me from an ill-fated relationship in the first place. I made a list of what I thought I needed and what I wanted in a woman and told him I’d let Him work it out in His own time. I won’t bore you with the list but I will share the story of how I met my wife.
I was on Facebook and I only had about 35 friends, which can get pretty boring, so I went on an adding frenzy. I used the “People you may know” tool and added so many people, that Facebook took away my adding privileges. Twice. I settled on only adding people with whom I had at least 20-25 mutual friends. All this time I was trying to rebuild the faith I had set aside before, so when one of the random “friends” I added made a post that not only insulted Christians, but did it using misinformation, I commented on it. Out of about 5-10 people commenting on this post, only one other person was on my side and she was perfect.
She and I only had 1 mutual friend so I wouldn’t have added her otherwise, but I did because we were fighting together, stalked her for a little while and eventually discovered my list had been copied almost to the letter in her. We’ve been married for a month now and I never wake up dreading the life I live anymore.
So yes, I believe God exists. For me it has become very clear in the past few years. If you’re looking for answers you’ll find them in Christ, just know that He’s going to challenge you. If you’re in a pit He’ll show you what to do, but you’re still the one who has to climb out.
Thanks for reading everyone,